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The recent inclement weather has posed a number of driving dangers, and I’ve been without my best defense against them: my beloved car horn.

A couple months ago, before we started getting end-of-the-world winter weather, I noticed my car horn wasn’t working.  Some rude driver cut me off, and naturally, I pounded on the middle of my steering wheel to let him/her know this was a majorly prickish move (my apologies for the language, but it’s REALLY annoying when people do that).  To my disappointment, no sound followed. 

It’s okay, I thought to myself. Not a big deal.  I can do without a horn for awhile. 

Wrong.  Oh, how I miss it. 

I can’t tell you how many times some idiot has misjudged the amount of snow and ice on the road, drove way too fast and almost hit me.  You would think driving slowly and cautiously would be a given when we’ve had two big winter storms and the streets are just now becoming navigable again.  Wrong.  And now I don’t even have my horn to passive-aggressively scold them for their poor driving. 

Am I under some illusion that honking will make them better, more cautious drivers?  Or roll down their window and say, “Geez, that was really inconsiderate of me to almost run into you. I’m really sorry, miss. I’ll definitely slow down and be more careful.”  Ha.  Absolutely not.

But I do miss being able to be that bitchy driver who lays on the horn whenever an overconfident jackass decides he (and yes, it’s usually been a “he” in my recent experience) can drive as wrecklessly as he wants when the roads are slick.  So until I have the time (aka funds) to fix my tragically broken horn, you careless drivers are in luck.  But when I do get it fixed…oh, you don’t even wanna know what’s going to happen.  Watch out, the horn wench is coming after you!